The Problem of Pride

Is Pride good or bad?

Do you see the term “pride” as something positive or something negative? We like it when someone says to us, “I’m proud of you”, right? And nearly everyone wants to live in a community where people take “pride of ownership.” All of these statements convey a positive sense of pride: dignity, respect, and honor, qualities that we can all strive for.

But did you know? Pride isn’t usually a good thing.  Pride mostly refer to arrogance, conceit, or superiority. This type of pride is self-destructive since it is based on self-centeredness, and can completely destroy your norms, ethics and humanity, which is pretty bad.

C.S. Lewis, the renowned writer, and apologist,  says that Selfish pride is particularly damaging to relationships too.

The problem with pride is that everyone’s pride competes with everyone else’s pride. We may become angry at someone else at an event because we wanted to be the center of attention.  What you need to realize is that pride is fundamentally defined as competitiveness.

We say that people are proud to be wealthy, smarter, or more attractive than others. If everyone became equally wealthy, intelligent, or attractive, there would be nothing to be proud of. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the satisfaction of being better than the rest.

Pride brings no joy other than having the feeling that you are better than the other person.

Allah SWT says in the Quran in Surat al Nisa that He hates pride and arrogance in clear and simple words.  Prophet PBUH says that He who has in his heart as much pride as a grain of mustard seed will not enter paradise. 

It is self-explanatory that our religion strongly condemns arrogance and pride.  So, how do we deal with this serious issue of pride?

According to John Maxwell, there are a few steps we can take to reduce our pride and become more humble human beings. 

1. Admit your Pride

If you don’t think you are arrogant, you are probably arrogant. You can never solve a problem that you think you don’t have.

The first step is to admit one’s own pride. And that is a significant step. At the very least, nothing can be done before it. 

2. Show Appreciation to Others

Henry Ward Beecher, American Speaker once said “A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.”

Something about saying “thank you” shifts our focus away from ourselves and onto the blessings we’ve received and the people who have blessed us.

3. Kill your “know-it-all” habit

Whenever someone says something, don’t quickly judge or think like “I know”. Listen carefully first. You probably don’t know it.  Know-it-alls think they know everything. They feel superior, are dismissive of others’ opinions, and are unwilling to listen to others. 

The belief that one knows everything can also lead to overconfidence, which can result in mistakes and errors in judgment.

In short, the danger of “knowing-it-all” is that it can create a barrier to growth, limit collaboration, and cause mistakes due to overconfidence. It is important to approach learning with humility, openness, and a willingness to continually learn and grow.

4. Practice to be humble

A truly great person is always willing to be small. However, pride fights against servanthood because a proud person always expects others to serve them.

Serving others challenges us to prioritize their needs over our own, which reminds us that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves.

5. Laugh at yourself

When you start looking for humor in your own behavior and situation, you’ll find it everywhere. People who are proud take themselves far too seriously. By laughing at yourself, you begin to see how ridiculous we can all be at times.

If your pride motivates you to do your best and find satisfaction in the accomplishments of others, you’re on the right track to being a better leader. 

However, if there’s even a hint of rivalry or self-promotion in it, it’s probably hurting your relationships. That can have a negative impact on both your life and your leadership. If that’s the case, do what I attempt to do: turn my attention to others and follow the advice above.

Before I conclude

My mother gives me the below advice as I try to climb the corporate ladder. Let me translate what she said to English.

“If you are poor, do not ever be a proud poor man. And if you are rich, do not ever be a greedy simpleton”

My beloved mother always reminds me of the following advice, as I try to climb the corporate ladder. Please allow me to translate what she says into English.